If Only
by a child1
Summary: L/J love/hate, beginning when Lily gets on the train and is currently on their fifth year *just added chapter 9! the next chapter will be the climax of the story! yippee!*
1. Just the Beginning

Disclaimer: Storyline is the only thing I own  
  
A/N: I'm trying for a second time at a Lily/James Love/Hate story. I love reading them, and since I think of myself as a writer I thought I'd try my hand at it. Didn't go too well my first time (with At Odds) and so here goes for a second time. Wish me luck! R/R please!  
  
If Only..  
  
Chapter 1: Just the Beginning  
  
"Good-bye dear!" Lily's parents called from inside their Volvo. "Have a great year! Send us bunches of letters!"  
  
"Okay!" Lily called back, happy to be finally leaving for Hogwarts.  
  
"Have a great time in freak-ville," Petunia, her younger sister, sulkily from the backseat. Lily stuck her tongue out at her, and Petunia did the same.  
  
"Say good-bye, guys," Lily's dad said, addressing the rivaling sisters. "You won't be seeing each other until Christmas time."  
  
"Good-bye, Petunia," Lily said sarcastically.  
  
"Good-bye." Petunia didn't look in Lily's direction. The two parents laughed and waved good-bye to their older daughter one last time.  
  
Okay, Lily told herself. Let's get to Hogwarts Express, be thankful your parents dropped you off so early, or else you wouldn't have enough time to get settled. She pulled the train ticket out of her jeans pocket, she was going to change into her Hogwarts uniform once on the train. Her eyes looked for the platform number and finally found it, 9¾. She started to walk down the line of platforms. 4.5.6. Lily counted to herself. 9..10  
  
"Wait!" Lily yelled aloud, loud enough for everybody at the station to glare at her. Her face reddened and softly she muttered a sorry.  
  
"May I help you, ma'am?" somebody who worked there asked.  
  
"Um..Yes, you can. Where can I find Platform 9¾?"  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Platform 9¾."  
  
"I'm sorry, miss, but there's no such Platform. Where are you going?"  
  
"Hog." Lily paused. This must have something to do with wizards trying to keep their world secret or something of the sorts. Kind of like Diagon Alley, Lily observed, hidden in the back of a non-descript wizarding bar that can only be seen by wizards. "Never mind, sir. Thank you for your help."  
  
The man bowed and quickly hurried off with an expression of confusion on his face.  
  
"Oh dear," Lily whispered. "Now what?" She stood in confusion in between Platforms 9 and 10 for awhile, trying to find out what she was supposed to do. Her owl hooted quite loudly and quickly Lily tried to shush it.  
  
"Sshhhh." Lily tried to coo it. "Now's not the time, Kivrin. Not now!" Kivrin stared past Lily and hooted again. Lily turned around to see what her owl was looking at and saw a crowd of people pushing a cart with a load similar to Lily's.  
  
"Excuse me!" Lily cried, rushing over to the people.  
  
"Yes?" said a kindly old women with graying hair, turning around.  
  
"Ummm...well." Lily said, confused. What if they're not wizards? I'd feel SO stupid. It's better to feel stupid than to miss the train to Hogwarts.  
  
Lily continued having a mental argument with herself until the woman asked, "Are you looking for Platform 9¾?" Lily practically fainted with relief and nodded. "Oh, well then, you've come to the right woman. All you have to do is run through that brick wall and voila, you're there."  
  
Lily looked at the women with a shocked look, was she being serious.  
  
"Here, I'll have one of the boys go through to show you. Sirius!" the women beckoned a boy with tousled brown hair.  
  
"Yes?" he asked.  
  
"Go on through to the platform to show this nice young lady how it's done."  
  
Sirius glanced at Lily, whose face quickly reddened, and grinned. "No problemo, here goes!" and he ran right at the wall. Lily was getting ready for him to run into it and fall down, his load flying in all directions. When he simply disappeared Lily was shocked.  
  
"Where did he go?" Lily asked, turning towards the woman.  
  
The woman laughed and said, "Why, to the platform, of course. Your turn!" Lily tried to protest but the woman pushed her towards the wall and Lily started walking. "I'd run if I were you!" Lily heard the woman call after her.  
  
Taking her advice Lily started running as fast her heavy cart permitted her too. The wall came closer, and closer, and closer. Lily closed her eyes, prepping for a huge crash. It didn't come. She cautiously opened them and saw a huge bustle and a train with the words Hogwarts Express written in large golden letters near the front.  
  
Lily handed her ticket to an attendant and went down the hall to find a compartment to sit in until they arrived at Hogwarts. None of them were empty, so she asked to join two girls already sitting comfortably on the padded seats.  
  
"Excuse me?" Lily said timidly. "Can I join you?"  
  
"Of course," a girl with short black hair said. "I'm Lisa, this is Heather." Lisa pointed at a rather plump girl cuddling a cat, she nodded in Lily's direction.  
  
"I'm Lily Evans," Lily said as she sat down next to Lisa. There was an awkward silence for awhile and Heather was the first to break the silence.  
  
"What house do you want to be in?" she asked.  
  
"Excuse me?" Lily was plainly confused. Well, I live in my parent's house.she added to herself.  
  
"You know, house," Lisa put in. "Slytherin, Hufflepuff, Gryffindor, or Ravenclaw? I'd prefer Gryffindor myself, because the people are usually smart and brave there. But I suppose Ravenclaw wouldn't be that bad, although I've heard that the Jocks usually go there."  
  
"I'm going to be in Gryffindor for sure," Heather said. "I'm in a long line of pure-bloods, all who have been placed in Gryffindor, so I'm a given.  
  
"Well, I hope I'm put in the same house as you guys," Lily said shyly. "I mean, I don't know anybody else here."  
  
"You're a Muggle-born, aren't?" Lisa asked kindly.  
  
"Excuse me?" Lily said for a second time. "Muggle-born? What's that?"  
  
"It's where both your parents are not wizards."  
  
Lily nodded, "Yeah, that's me."  
  
All three of them jumped when a long whistle blew and a voice came over the loudspeakers. "Five minutes to Hogwarts. Five minutes!" Then the whistle blew again.  
  
"I guess we better get in our clothes," Lisa said.  
  
After Lily was all dressed she gazed out the window, trying to get a glimpse of her new school. When she finally did she gasped. "How beautiful," she whispered. It was majestic and scary at the same time; all the windows were lit up, glistening in the vast lake surrounding it.  
  
Outside she, Lisa, and Heather had no clue what to do next. They noticed a group of four boys just to their right.  
  
"Should we ask them for help?" whispered Lisa.  
  
"Yes," said Heather, as if she was proclaiming a death sentence. If that makes any sense.  
  
"You go," whispered Lily.  
  
"No, you!" Heather and Lisa said in unison, pushing her towards the group. Nervously she approached them.  
  
"Excuse me?" she asked, tapping one of them on the shoulder. The boy who had showed her how to get to Platform 9¾ turned around. "Oh, hello," said Lily, surprised. "Sirius, right?"  
  
"Wait!" said a boy, shoving in front. "You know Sirius, and not me?" Lily looked in the boy's direction with a look of disgust. "How is this?"  
  
"I helped her get to Platform 9¾ back at the station, that's all James," Sirius said, shoving to the position next to the boy apparently name James.  
  
"Oh," James said, feeling stupid.  
  
Lily almost said, "Well you should feel stupid," but she didn't, and she felt it would be too rude, even regarding the circumstances.  
  
"Anyways," Lisa said, who had apparently been standing next to Lisa the whole time. "We have no clue what we're supposed to be doing, and were wondering if you did."  
  
"Nope," Sirius said.  
  
"Mine name's Lisa, this is Lily, and this is Heather," Lisa said, pointing to Lily an Heather as they said their name.  
  
"I'm Sirius, this is James, Peter, and Remus," said Sirius.  
  
"Okay! First years! Hop onto your boats and we'll head across the lake!" a voice boomed. Lily glanced in the general direction of it and was shocked to see a larger than life human with an abundance of dark hair growing off his face.  
  
"That's Hagrid," Lisa whispered. "People say he's a giant, but he's not quite big enough to be one" Lisa, Lily, and Heather hopped into the nearest boat and started their first journey towards the famous wizarding school. 


	2. The Sorting

Chapter 2: The Sorting  
  
James laughed with his friends as they hopped out of their boat and pulled it ashore. They had 'accidentally' put a chocolate frog in a girls' boat and it had jumped on them. In the shock of the moment they thought it real and screamed, almost knocking their boat over. Luckily the frog jumped into the lake too soon, so the girls never figured out that they were scared of a chocolate concoction.  
  
"That was a good one, James," said Sirius as they followed Hagrid up a long, winding path towards Hogwarts.  
  
"Thanks," James said, cracking up so hard that he practically fell backwards into the group of girls behind him.  
  
"Excuse me," said the plump precocious girl rather rudely.  
  
"No, excuse me," said James, bowing and allowing them to go first. He gave his friends a look that said he had an idea.  
  
"What is it?" whispered Peter, always ready for a good practical joke. James whispered something to do with a Muggle trick and boots. Sirius couldn't contain his laugh and let out what sounded like a large belch. The girls stopped, stared suspiciously at them, and then continued walking. This caused the rest of them to laugh too.  
  
"Ready?" asked Remus, it was his turn to be the culprit.  
  
"It's your deal," James said.  
  
"Don't remind me," Remus was not happy about having to do this. Cautiously he jogged up to a position where he was walking right behind the girls. When Lily's foot was right in front of his he stomped his foot down on the heel, causing it to flip off her foot and into the wood right next to the trail.  
  
Furiously Lily turned around and glared at Remus. "How dare you!" she yelled. Hagrid heard her and turned around.  
  
"Is everything okay back there?" his voice boomed.  
  
Lily nodded and turned back towards Remus. "Get my shoe," she said in a daring voice.  
  
Remus shrank underneath her gaze and quickly went into the wood to fetch the shoe he had stomped off. "Here," he said meekly, knowing he would never hear the end of it from James or Sirius. Luckily, Remus knew that Peter would let him off easily.  
  
Lily slipped it on, threw another threatening glare at the foursome and said, "Come on Lisa and Heather, we have to keep going, and not hold up the line behind us." She turned around, flipping her long red hair and headed up the trail.  
  
James elbowed Remus. "Why did you get her shoe for her?" he whispered angrily as they continued walking, a ways behind the girls this time.  
  
"Um." Remus stammered. "She glared at me so bloody awful," he said truthfully.  
  
"Oh, so if I stare at you like this," James gave Remus a far worse glare than Lily's, "then you won't do that again." Remus timidly shook his head and kept it lowered until they got to the cafeteria.  
  
"Wow," the foursome said in unison. Candles were floating above the long four tables, where people were already seated with few empty seats. Above the ceiling was imitations of the sky outside, stars were glittering and a crescent moon was nestled on one of the sides.  
  
"First-years!" a woman voice said from in front, where there was a line of teachers seated behind a table. In the middle sat an old man with a long white beard and a splendid peaked hat on. I suppose that's our headmaster, Dumbledore, thought James. "My name is Professor McGonagall, please come stand up here to wait to be sorted." The first-years filed up the aisles while the professor beckoned for something to be brought in.  
  
"What's that?" James whispered to Sirius as the object was placed on a stool.  
  
"Looks like an old, ugly wizard hat," Sirius said.  
  
"Black, Sirius!" McGonagall yelled, Sirius jumped with surprise and nervously made his way to the stool. Professor McGonagall picked up the hat, Sirius sat on the stool, and the hat was placed on his head. It was far too big for it slid down past his nose. Sirius heard a snicker from the audience and assumed it was one of his friends.  
  
"Hmmm.." He heard the hat say and jumped. "A prankster, eh? I've had many of those in my day. You have to be rather smart to be pull pranks, so I guess Hufflepuff is out, and I don't think Ravenclaw would fit either. No, GRYFFINDOR!" The table of Gryffindors exploded with applause and Sirius, grinning from ear to ear went to sit down.  
  
"Williams,Emma!"  
  
"Hufflepuff!"  
  
"Thortlebottom, James!"  
  
"Slytherin!"  
  
"Potter,James!"  
  
James held his breath as he went up to the stool.  
  
"I put someone of the same sort in Gryffindor, so..GRYFFINDOR!" James smiled from ear to ear and went to sit down next to his friend. Another five went by before Lily was called up to the front.  
  
"Muggle-born, I see. I do so love doing these. You stand up to people, bravely, and for the good of others, so no Slytherin for you. How about..GRYFFINDOR!" She rolled her eyes when she saw that two of the first- years already seated there weren't clapping, of course it was James and Sirius. She had no clue why they already had quite a disliking for her. She hadn't been that mean, besides the glare she gave Remus, which she already felt quite bad about.  
  
There were only about ten more first-years to be sorted. Lisa was placed in Gryffindor, as was Peter and Remus, much to the girls' dismay.  
  
"Feast!" Dumbledore proclaimed and instantly the table was covered in food beyond anything Lily had every seen before. Hungrily she dug in. Between bites she talked to Lisa.  
  
"Did you see Heather's face when she was sorted into Ravenclaw? I wanted to crack up, but didn't."  
  
"Oh, I know," Lisa replied. "Especially after that whole speech about how all her pure-blood family had been in Gryffindor. That was priceless."  
  
About an hour later a prefect led them to their house. On the way Lisa and Lily met the other first-year girls.  
  
"Hello, I'm Sonya," a tall girl with long blond hair said.  
  
"I'm Seria," said another girl. And so it went with the five other girls Penelope, Paige, Erin, Amber, and Molly. Laughing they went into the Gryffindor common room for the first time.  
  
A/N: I never know when to end the chapter, and how to. So I hope this is efficient enough for you! Thanks all for reviewing, I have three so far! Yippee! 


	3. Skipping Ahead

Disclaimer: guess A/N: I'm skipping ahead to their fourth year, sorry, but I'm not really patient. *edit: I fixed some mistakes that were pointed out to me by an anonymous reviewer. Thanks!* ---------------------------------- Chapter 3: Skipping Ahead ---------------------------------  
  
Lily glared at James, who had come to enjoying the constant pranks he was playing on Lily. "Your despicable and very unimaginative," she said, holding up a water balloon with a cut piece of string tied to the end.  
  
"Unimaginative, yes, but I don't know about despicable," he said laughing, his blue eyes dancing with pleasure.  
  
Lily shook her head and, giving James one last glare, stalked off to the room she shared with six others. He watched her leave and then plopped down on the common room couch, going over his last prank in his mind. It had all been Sirius' idea; unfortunately, he came up with all the good plans that got Lily infuriated. For once James wanted to... His mind wandered off into space for the next hour or so until his friend burst in on his thoughts.  
  
"James!" Sirius yelled. "COME ON! We're going to be late for Quidditch practice!"  
  
With a jolt James sat up and looked around.  
  
"I'm right here," Sirius said. When James finally focused on him, Sirius pulled him up and out of the common room towards the field.  
  
"Whoa!" James exclaimed. "I can run without your help, thank you."  
  
"Sorry," Sirius said, putting his hands on his knees and panting. "But you know how much Willie wanted to work with us on ball-handling, and he threatened us to not be late. I believed him!"  
  
"Don't be such a woos," James said, starting to walk. "We won't be late." Sure enough, they were.  
  
"James, Sirius," Willie, the team's captain, said sternly. "I told you not to be late, and yet you are. I'm seriously questioning your level of commitment to this team." Willie really bugged James with his extreme perfectness. He got perfect grades in almost every class, was the team captain, Head Boy, and could ask any girl to the dance he wanted and still get a yes.  
  
"I'm sorry," James said, almost with perfect sincerity, but part of it was sarcasm. Yet another misfortune: Willie noticed that slight sarcasm and went off on another lecture about it.  
  
Finally the lecture was through and they began practice, passing the ball back and forth, rarely dropping it. James was thinking of a potential prank when Willie announced that practice was ended, and ended, ".thanks to YOU, James. I hope the girl your daydreaming about is worth it."  
  
"Hey!" James yelled, shaking his fist at Willie and practically falling off his broom. "I was only daydreaming about what I wanted to do to Lily, not about her!"  
  
"Sure," Willie said simply, and descended to the ground.  
  
"What was that all about?" Sirius asked James as they headed inside.  
  
"Well, I decided to think of a good prank myself for once," with a glance at Sirius, "and I guess I announced that to the whole Gryffindor Quidditch Team.  
  
"Yes, you did. And I'm wondering whether you are telling the truth about not thinking about Lily."  
  
"I'm not!" James exclaimed and threw a mock punch at Sirius. Sirius dodged it and, laughing, raced inside. "I'll get you!" James yelled after him, not making any effort to chase his fleeing friend.  
  
" So," Lily said, sitting cross-legged on her bed. "Who are you going with to Hogsmeade THIS weekend," she said, referring to Lisa's tendency to go to Hogsmeade with a different boy each trip.  
  
"Well, if you MUST know," Lisa replied laughingly. "Well, that boy from Ravenclaw, you know.."  
  
"Umm.no, I don't, Lisa. There must be at least one hundred boys in Ravenclaw. Which one?"  
  
"Well, he's a fifth-year." she paused. Lily didn't say anything more, so Lisa continued. "He's on the quidditch team."  
  
"Oh! You mean the cute beater?!" Lily exclaimed. Happily Lisa nodded her head.  
  
"And who are you going with this weekend?" Lisa asked,  
  
"Guess."  
  
"Oh, come on, Lily. You haven't gone to Hogsmeade ONCE with a boy yet and this is your fourth year!" Lily looked down at the floor ashamedly.  
  
"But I'm always to nervous to ask somebody and they NEVER ask me."  
  
"You could ask James," Lisa chided humorously, looking for the reaction it got out of Lily. As much as it seemed that Lily hated James, one never knew.  
  
"James? You mean the boy that plays all those awful tricks on me? Over my dead body!" Lily shrieked, jumping off of her bed. "How could you even say that, LISA?" She rushed out of the room and downstairs.  
  
Well, that didn't go as planned, Lisa thought and ran after her friend. She heard a shriek down the hall, followed by a really infuriated, "JAMES POTTER! YOU BETTER BET YOUR BREECHES I'M GOING TO GET YOU SOMEDAY!!!!!"  
  
A/N: and of course I end in threat, a much better way to start the next chapter, don't you think? I don't have ANY ideas, R/R and give me SOME ideas please! 


	4. Pranks Galore

Chapter 4: Pranks Galore  
  
It was a good morning for James so far, one of the few where he woke up on his own without one of his friends having to shake him awake ten minutes after breakfast started. In the shower he had sung so loudly that the rest of the boys in there at the time had told him to hush up. Still singing he shook his hair dry and slipped into his Hogwarts robe. Peter knocked on the door and then came in; pausing shocked in mid-step when he saw James.  
  
"What's the matter, James?" Peter joked. "Cat's got you tongue?"  
  
Peter shook his head and tried to raise his hand to point, but his fingers just flopped by his side. "Ha..hai.." Peter stammered.  
  
"What is it?" James asked, starting to get annoyed. He rustled through the trunk at the end of the bed, looking for his wand.  
  
"Ha.hai." Peter stammered again.  
  
"Will you bloody well spit it out?" James stood up with his wand in his hand. "We've only got three minutes until breakfast begins, and I can't WAIT to see the Slytherin's faces when they find the bit of pepper I put in their food the last time I went into the kitchen.  
  
"HAIR!" Peter finally shouted, causing James to laugh.  
  
"Oh, is that what you've been stammering about? I know it's unruly, it always is. I must say, I have an extremely bad case of bed head that just won't go away." James turned towards his mirror to try one last time to get the hairs that were sticking up to sit down. "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!" he screamed, racing out of his dormitory and down to the girls.  
  
The door flew open, and he was pleased to hear the screams of half-dressed girls from inside. Luckily the girl he was after, Lily, was sitting all ready on the bed. She was doubling over with laughter until he was standing over her.  
  
"Well, Lily," he said, spatfully. "I guess you've got me back, huh? But you had to do a bloody Muggle trick, didn't you? All you had to do was put hair-dye in my shampoo and then my hair turned blue."  
  
She looked into his eyes for a second, but couldn't hold her laughter and soon was sprawled on her bed, clutching her sides.  
  
"You might think its funny, but you won't when I'm done with you." With that he stormed out of the room.  
  
At breakfast James glared at Lily, who returned his furious glare.  
  
"What's wrong?" Sirius asked James. Sirius had gone to breakfast early because he had decided to take a detour to play another prank on Professor Binns, who knew who played the pranks and yet never got anyone in trouble.  
  
"Well, Lily must have slipped some stinkin' Muggle hair-die into my shampoo because this morning I discovered my hair was blue. Peter did a spell to get it out, but she's still not going to get away with it."  
  
"What are you going to do?" Sirius asked with his fork midway to his mouth.  
  
"I don't know yet. That's what I was going to ask you."  
  
"Well, I'll think of something." It was silent for a few minutes, both boys were thinking. "This is your chance to play an awfully good prank, if you want to," Sirius pointed out. James nodded thoughtfully, but didn't say anything.  
  
After breakfast was Double-Potions, James' favorite class. It was the only class where he could easily pull a prank and pretend like it was just a fatal potions accident.  
  
"Okay, class," Professor Thunklebottom droned from the front of class. "Today we will be mixing two highly flammable chemicals, Beoshaka and Womelswood. Mixed wrong it can blow up and be quite dangerous to ones' health." He droned on and on, but James blocked him out.  
  
"This is your chance," Sirius mouthed to James.  
  
"But it's dangerous," James mouthed back.  
  
"When has James ever worried about danger?" Sirius mouthed. James shrugged and turned towards Thunklebottom, pretending to pay attention. Sirius did the same, although he was thinking how uncharacteristic that was of James.  
  
Thunklebottom shocked Sirius when he said, "Okay, I'll hand out the ingredients and we'll get started," after only a twenty minute talk. Usually Thunklebottom talked for an hour or more.  
  
Everyone's acting oddly today, Sirius said to himself. Over the cauldron he was sharing with James he said, "Well, have you decided what to do yet, Mr. Its-too-dangerous?"  
  
"No, I haven't, but I think that something will come to me before Mrs. I- think-I'll-put-blue-hair-dye-in-James-hair strikes again."  
  
"Strikes again?" Sirius asked, sounding surprised.  
  
"Yes, strikes again," James affirmed. He said something else, but Sirius couldn't hear him over the huge explosion the shook the small dungeon that served as the classroom. The next thing either of them remembered was the fat professor standing over asking them if they were all right.  
  
James groaned, muttered something, and then rolled over to his left side and saw Lily Evans bending at his side. He tried rolling quickly over to his other side, but felt a sharp pain in his back and decided that it would be in his best interest if he refrained.  
  
"Are you okay?" she asked kindly. Her green eyes her kind and smile was irresistible. What are you thinking, James Potter? He yelled at himself. Starting to think Lily EVANS is pretty, you must have really bonked you head hard.  
  
"What happened?" he finally managed to mutter.  
  
This time a voice from behind him answered, "Nasty explosion, reckon while we were talking, James, that we didn't notice when we put two dabs of Womelswood in, instead of one. I was sent into the desks behind us, and you into the large shelf of chemicals." It was Sirius. "I, of course being my strong self, didn't get you. You, on the otherhand, passed out."  
  
Everybody in the room chuckled and Professor Thunklebottom tried to help James up. Unfortunately, a plump, weak old man trying to lift a Quidditch playing jock doesn't really work, so Peter (being rather strong) helped in the end.  
  
"We better send you to the nurse," Thunklebottom droned in his boring voice. "Doesn't look like you can go alone." he paused for a second, looking around the classroom. "Evans!" he called.  
  
Lily looked up from the note Lisa had passed her, quickly hid it, and replied, "Yes?"  
  
"Come here." Lily got up and jogged over to where James was standing up in rather an awkward position.  
  
"Yes?" Lily asked, once there.  
  
"James here need to go to the nurse, could you bring him?"  
  
"Ummm.." Lily paused. Bring the despicable James to the nurse, on the other side of the school? Not in my lifetime, she thought. "Sure," she replied.  
  
"Good, okay, off you go," he said, pushing them out the door.  
  
A/N: I needed some way to get them to talk, without having either failing in the others best class and having them tutor, that seems too common. I'm going to comment on some reviews below, some that were for the 1st chapter. Sorry! I haven't gotten around to them yet.. Heehee  
  
Anonymous wrote: It`s a great story!!!  
  
I just thought u should know that James Didn`t have emerald eyes ,Lily did. oh,and they can go to Hogsmeade only in their 3rd year,not earlier(you wrote "You haven't gone to Hogsmeade ONCE with a boy yet and this is your third year")  
  
THANKS ANONYMOUS! I CHANGED EVERYTHING AND HOPE IT'S ALL GOOD NOW!  
  
Children,TheEmuIsNotAToy- YOUR DISGUSTING  
  
Lavon- THANKS I LOVE HEARING COMPLIMENTS! 


	5. I Tried

Chapter 5: I Tried!  
  
There was an awkward silence for awhile as the two walked towards the Infirmary. James kept trying to say something, but stopped himself each time by remembering what she had done to him that morning.  
  
Lily glanced at James' stone face and started to crack up.  
  
"What is it?" James asked furiously.  
  
"Nothing," Lily said amid giggles. They had stopped now because Lily found it difficult to walk because of her laughter that echoed throughout the hall.  
  
"Oh, if it's nothing then I guess we'll continue, won't we?" James said, as if he were a professor sternly asking for a student to listen to him. This caused Lily to crack up even more.  
  
"Stone.Blue.." Lily tried to explain, but very few of the words were able to get past the laughter.  
  
James shook his head and continued limping down the hall without her. She looked up, saw him, and immediately stopped.  
  
"Wait!" she called. "I didn't mean anything!"  
  
"Oh, really?" he said, turning to her with an angry face. "You didn't? Then why would you be laughing except at me? That's nothing, is it? Well, nothing sure hurts my feelings."  
  
Lily looked in his eyes and saw past the fury, he seemed sad. Why does he seem sad? Lily asked herself. "I was only laughing because you sure haven't had a great day so far," she admitted truthfully.  
  
"No thanks to you," he added. They were now at the Infirmary and in minutes James was settled in a bed and Lily was sent back to class.  
  
On the way back she thought about how wonderful it was to look into James eyes once and find an emotion other than mischievousness and anger. Not that the mischievous look wasn't bad, it did have a certain glint to it..  
  
  
  
The seven fourth-year Gryffindors were all sitting on Seria's bed and giggling about what they had done during the half-day they had had off.  
  
"Well." Lisa said, giggling. "Fred (the Ravenclaw she went to Hogsmeade with) and I took a walk around the school today," she said, winking when she said 'walk.' Everybody laughed, and seeing that they were, Lily joined in.  
  
"What did you do on your walk?" asked Amber, a smart girl but someone who had NO street sense. Everybody looked at her like she was crazy, and then continued talking. "Well?" she asked again. And, again, they ignored her completely.  
  
Lisa was staring off into space and she only laughed when others did, even though she didn't pay attention to why. She fiddle with her long red hair, running her fingers through it. Why did I have to laugh? She asked herself. I had a perfect chance to become better friends with James, and I blew. Her fingers paused and she looked out the window next to the bed. Why do you even want to be friends with James? He's despicable and only likes you because you're a perfect target for pranks, she told herself. And yet she couldn't stop kicking herself for being so idiotic on the way to the Infirmary today.  
  
"Hey, Lily," Sonya said, poking her in the ribs. Lily doubled over, her ribs were her most ticklish spot, but Lily didn't laugh. "What's got your goat?" Sonya laugh, poking her again.  
  
Lisa mouthed to the rest of the girls, "Shove off," and moved closer to Lily. "What's the matter, girlfriend?" Lisa asked.  
  
Lily looked at her and had a look of confusion on her face. "I really don't know," she said truthfully.  
  
"Tell me the story," Lisa said, knowing that her best friend wouldn't act like this without a reason.  
  
"Well, there was a huge explosion in Double Potions today."  
  
Lisa interrupted, "You don't have to tell me, I was there." Lily gave her a dirty look and Lisa motioned for her to continue.  
  
"I knelt down next to James and he looked so.." Lily was looking for the right word. "Pathetic." She said, pleased with herself. "He opened his eyes, saw me, and looked like he made a move to roll over, like he didn't want to see me. It must have hurt him or something, because he didn't. Then Thunklebottom sent me to bring him to the Infirmary, and halfway there I cracked for some odd reason. Maybe I saw some last strand he had missed of blue hair, but I think it was because of his facial expression, you know? You see someone with a stone face, or what looks like one, and you wonder what made him like that. But, I didn't need to wonder, I already knew. It was me, all me, he was mad that he had to be stuck with me. So there, that's what I've been thinking about; how awful James and I have been to each other. We exchanged some harsh words and I think that my laughing was completely uncalled for." Lily paused and looked away, a single tear trickling down her passive face.  
  
Lisa looked shocked; she didn't know what to say. Her friend had emotions about being mean to a boy that was mean right back to her? Lisa didn't understand, and didn't know if she wanted to. "But, what he's done to you."  
  
"Were all in fun," Lily cut in. "I'm a great target; I get pissed off quite easily. I don't know, I'll probably be completely back to normal in the morning and concocting another way to completely embarrass him." She paused and the room was silent for awhile. "But now." another pause. "I'm sorry for what I did. I tried, and will try, and I don't think I'll ever succeed. I think, well, I think that James and I will never be friends."  
  
Lily stood up and started walking towards the door. Lisa tried to stop her, but Lily shook her off.  
  
A/N: This is probably a bit mushy for you, but i needed to set it up for next chapter. p.s. do you know when the marauders became animagi? 


	6. HeWhoMustNotBeNamed Arises

Chapter 6: He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named Arises  
  
The next morning James woke up in a dark place that smelled slightly like lavender. He sat up and realized that he had been sleeping in stiff white blankets. There were pictures of moving nurses on the walls and it was all painted white. It must be the Infirmary. In instants everything came rushing back to him.  
  
"Owww." he groaned as feelings rushed into his head, causing a headache. He clutched his head and sank back down in the bed. He heard a bustle of footsteps come in, and knew it was the neurotic nurse, Miss Grimhaven. This made him groan even more.  
  
"Looks like you've woken up, Mr. Potter" she said, talking so fast and professionally that her words slurred together. "I'll have to inject you again." She paused, "Oh dear, I do hate needles so. Hang on a moment, dear, will you?" and she bustled out of the room again.  
  
James wanted to yell after her that he'd take as many moments as possible, but didn't because he figured that it didn't actually make any sense. He looked around and saw an envelope with his name scrawled onto it placed on the stand to the side of the Infirmary bed. Eagerly he reached for it and was about to tear it open when Miss Grimhaven entered again.  
  
"Now, now," she reprimanded him, "You can open that later. NOW, I'll have my assistant inject you. I do hate needles so, and I will not be in the room. Good-bye." Her long white skirts rustled as she exited.  
  
The assistant glanced in his direction and hurriedly got ready and held up the needle. James braced himself for pain, but none came, instead he felt quite pleasant. He smiled in the assistant's direction and drifted off into another long sleep.  
  
When he awoke, for the second time, the first thing he saw were the millions of letters piled on stand. After he regained his focus, though, he realized it was in actuality only ten envelopes. He reached for the first one and tore it open.  
  
Dear James, Poor fellow, you've missed out on all the fun. Poor Snape has had millions of pranks played on him; I loved the one in particular concerning a rotten egg breaking all over his head. We started off your long leave of absence by playing a few pranks on Lily, mean ones too I might say. But she acted quite oddly and just laughed them off. She didn't seem to change around her friends, but around us.. Well, you'll just have to see for yourself when you come back. It's been what, two weeks now? Sincerely, your good friend Sirius  
  
James was glad to hear the Snape was having an awful, but confused when he read the part about Lily. The last he had talked to her was right outside the Infirmary when he was acting particularly rude to her. I feel bad about that, he told himself, and then immediately took it back. She's a rude girl that needs to be talked to roughly once in awhile, he said silently.  
  
He brushed these thoughts aside and ruffled through the envelopes, looking for one he should open next. It looked like four of them were assignments, which he felt would not do anything for his already drooping mood. Finally he saw near the bottom the Daily Prophet with big scrolling letters written off to the side. James rotated it a bit to read whatever it said on the right level.  
  
My dear friend James, I heard about the mishap you had in Double Potions and am quite sorry about it. Anyways, you've missed a lot while you were in your nearly-coma, so I thought I'd give you this newspaper in hopes you'll get a bit caught up before your return to normal life. I assume we'll need to get you a tutor to catch you up on things. Toodaloo, Albus Dumbledore  
  
James smiled and glanced down and the front page story, which instantly wiped the gleeful expression from his face. YOU-KNOW-WHO KILLS FOUR MORE. James gave a loud exclamation. He knew who YOU-KNOW-WHO was, but he had lying rather low ever since he made a pass at Hogwarts and Dumbledore created the foundation for You-know-who's fear of him. Yet, he kills four MORE, so there must have been other killings. James read on:  
  
Yet another attack is raged on the Wizarding community, this time in the close but distant country of Romania, where You-Know-Who's roots are supposedly from. One of the four whom were killed called He-Who-Must-Not- Be-Named a 'disgusting bastard who can't see the good in life'. Of course HE got infuriated and immediately performed a spell, killing four and injuring eight.  
  
James was scared now, really scared; he bolted out of bed and ran out of the infirmary, regardless of Miss Grimhaven's yells.  
  
"Password?" the fat lady in the portrait guarding the Gryffindor tower asked.  
  
"Lemon drop pens," James replied breathlessly and rushed in when the portrait swung open. He found his three friends seated, laughing, in the armchairs around a roaring fire.  
  
"What's this?" James gasped, falling at the side of Sirius' armchair after shoving the Daily Prophet in his face.  
  
"Oh no." Sirius sighed, not even welcoming his friend back to civilization. "You've been out of the loop only two weeks, and yet so much can happen."  
  
The four of them, mostly three actually since Peter was cowering in a corner, stayed up late into the night discussing the latest antics of Voldemort. Apparently he had hidden away for months, recouping and practicing to perfect his deathly skills. Already ten had died at his hand, six had nothing to do with him whatsoever until he killed them, and twenty-some were critically injured. James was furious at himself for not wakening up sooner, although he knew it was inevitable.  
  
James, trying to lighten things up he asked how things were going. Everybody laughed, even Peter, and they talked well into the night.  
  
Lily was in a particularly bad mood that morning, considering that she hadn't had any time whatsoever to get prettied up before breakfast, and it didn't improve a bit when she observed that James had decided to join them after a long absence. He was his normal self, of course, laughing and apparently had sent a box of INSTANT FIREWORKS UPON LANDING to Severus Snape. Lily shook her head and played with her oatmeal which greatly resembled grub.  
  
"Come on, Lily, eat up!" Lisa said, nudging Lily's elbow. Lily nudged back. "And put some flavoring in it. That grub, or whatever it is, looks sampling appalling!"  
  
Lily laughed and shook her head. "I'm not really that hungry."  
  
"Oh, come on," Sonya chided from across the table. "Not hungry? I have never seen Lily not hungry." The other girls laughed at this jest towards Lily's seemingly bottomless stomach.  
  
"No, I would be hungry, if someone hadn't lost my appetite for me," Lily said, glaring at the boy down the table.  
  
"Oh," Lisa nodded knowingly. "Yeah, I hear he's Miss Grimhaven doesn't want him to be out yet, but he forced his way back into our lives." Lisa rolled her eyes. "Boys sometimes, you know?"  
  
A/N: I know that my chapters are comparatively shorter than others, but I get so impatient and just want to get on to the next chapter. Sorry *blushes* Thanks 


	7. A Tutor

A/N: I know, I said I wouldn't do the whole tutoring thing, but I needed someway to establish more than friendly feelings in preparation for my next chapters :-D  
  
Chapter 7- A Tutor  
  
"Lily," Professor McGonagall said, "Please see me after class." The room erupted with 'uh-ohs' 'what has she done wrong?' and stuff of the sort. Lily lowered her head to her desk, oh no, she thought. "You too, Potter," McGonagall added.  
  
After class Lily walked up to Professor McGonagall's desk and paused. "What did you want, Professor?" she asked. The professor glanced up and held up her index finger, signaling for one second. James was soon standing next to Lily; the two did not exchange scared glances as students would normally do at times like these.  
  
"Lily," the professor said, standing up. "As you probably have been aware, this is Potter's first day back in school and he has no inkling because apparently he didn't open the letters I sent him detailing each lesson for the day," she directed a glare in James' direction. "So, I'm asking you to tutor in whatever he missed while he was gone for the two weeks." Lily groaned and snuck a glance at James, he didn't look too happy about it either. "You will start tomorrow at quarter after two. Good-bye." Professor walked briskly out of her office.  
  
"Potter, we will meet in the library," Lily said coldly and quickly disappeared.  
  
"Great," James muttered to himself and followed Lily, who was walking to the Gryffindor common room.  
  
"What?!" Sonya screeched when Lily was done relating everything that had happened that day. Lily nodded grimly.  
  
"I feel SO sorry for you," Lisa said. "Having to tutor that fool? He'll probably either not show at all or act completely like the stuck up brute he is and pretend he already knows all that stuff."  
  
Lily shook her head and fell back on the bed. She started hitting her forehead with the heel of her hand. Lisa reached over and grabbed her hand, "Now, now, no more of that," she said, imitating Professor McGonagall's stern tone of voice. Lily laughed but didn't sit up; instead she let out a groan resembling a gorilla's. This made all the girls laugh, they didn't notice that Lily had fallen into a deep sleep and was dreaming an odd dream.  
  
She was running fast through the halls of Hogwarts, but they didn't look like any she had seen before. She wasn't looking at the ground and was surprised and she tripped head long into a false wall, and burst into the Slytherin common room. James was there, in Ravenclaw attire, flying around on his new broom. "Get down from there!" Lily called. James apparently didn't hear her and kept flying. She called again, this time he noticed her and slowly drifted to the floor. "Yes, my love?" he asked happily. "No!" Lily exclaimed. "You are not MY love!" She yelled, trying to kick James but not succeeding because soon the world was spinning in dizzying colors of red, yellow, green, blue, and something that reminded Lily faintly of vomit. It stopped and she flew onto a hardwood floor. "There you are, Lily dear," she heard someone say behind her. She turned around and saw James holding a baby with short black hair and green eyes that looked like hers. "No!" Lily screamed, and woke up, panting.  
  
"You alright?" Lisa asked, bending over her. The room was dark and Lily could hear some of Amber's famous snores. Lily didn't answer, just stared at her with a look of shock on her face. "Are you alright?" Lisa asked again, obviously thinking Lily had not heard her the first time. Lily nodded and rolled over, pretending to fall asleep again. Lisa shrugged and went back to her own bed.  
  
Lily evaded all thoughts for awhile, but when she found that sleep was not coming she let everything flood in. What was that all about? First she finds James flying around in a common room, SLYTHERIN none-the-less, and then he apparently holds their child. She might not have been so surprised if she felt like she had any feelings towards James, but since she didn't Lily was extremely shocked and worried. Hours passed and still Lily did not fall back asleep. When the clock chimed twelve times, Lily decided it was useless and started to leave the room to go to the common room.  
  
"Drat!" she cursed as she tripped over one of Erin's inventions. Erin was muggle-born, and quite an oddity at that. She called herself a scientist and said she could invent stuff, like the THING Lily had practically tripped over. Not to mention that Erin's cleanliness is not exactly top notch. She continued on her way downstairs and after many stops, listening to what she thought sounded like footsteps, she got downstairs.  
  
Downstairs she sat in the armchair and stared out the window. It was a full moon. "How beautiful," she whispered. She looked up when she heard a rustling to her left. "Hello?" she asked, scared. "Who's there?" Nobody answered. Lily stood up and started walking in the general direction of the noise when she tripped over something she hadn't noticed. Her foot caught a piece of fabric and pulled it away from the four boys huddled underneath it. "JAMES?! REMUS?! SIRIUS?! And PETER!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" she shrieked.  
  
The foursome hurriedly stood up, grabbed the cloak from her and draped back over their bodies. They promptly disappeared. "Talk to you tomorrow!" James yelled back, "No time to explain now!" and they quickly escaped through the Gryffindor portal to the hall outside.  
  
What was that all about? Lily wondered, silently dreading when she would have to tutor James tomorrow and him telling her an exaggerated story of him saving somebody's life. Lily just wanted to know about the cloak and what the heck they were doing out so early (or late, depending how you look at it.)  
  
Morning finally came and Lily was not looking forward to the day for some odd reason. Maybe because the only class of the day the Gryffindors shared with the Slytherins, who she utterly despised, and then she had to tutor James in the afternoon.  
  
Luckily the only class of the day was Charms, Lily's best and favorite subject. She was awarded ten points for Gryffindor because of a Disappearing Charm Lily performed perfectly. James glared at her constantly, loathing how much she showed off to the class.  
  
Two o' clock slowly drew closer and Lily was upstairs trying to get her hair less frizzy. "Erg!" she screamed in frustrating, pulling at the ends of her fiery red hair with frustration.  
  
Lisa was sitting quietly on her bed, watching Lily practically pull her hair out. "Whoa, girl," she said. "If you keep doing that you won't have any hair left to be frizzy."  
  
"Why does it have to be SO DARN FRIZZY?!" Lily screamed.  
  
Just at that moment Sonya walked in and looked at Lily like she was crazy. "Are you trying to impress a boy or what?" she asked.  
  
Lily glared at Sonya with a look that could have killed a whole flock of owls. "No," she said coldly. "But I'm going to be in a public place and prefer to look presentable." Sonya gave an apologetic look and reached for a can of something that was resting on Erin's nightstand.  
  
"This is Muggle hair stuff, Erin showed it to me the other day," Sonya explained while spraying foam onto her hand and rubbing it together. "Can I try it on your hair?" Resignedly Lily nodded and plopped down into a chair that she had pulled into the middle of the room. Twenty minutes later and after many cries of frustration from both Lily and Sonya (not to mention half the bottle of the Muggle hair product) Lily was ready. She received a 'good luck' from both girls and slowly headed down to the library, dreading the tutoring more and more every minute.  
  
"So," James said as Lily plopped her load of books onto the table. "Your late." He glanced at his expensive wizard watch which resembled very much resembled a Rolex as if to back up his previous statement.  
  
"Yeah, and I'm tutoring you," Lily responded in a cold tone. "Let's get started with Charms."  
  
"Wait," James cut in. "Before we start, could I explain about last night?" Lily was shocked by his willingness to explain.  
  
"Why? Do you want to brag about a fearless effort life-saving event that happened last night?" Lily said.  
  
"No, well, it was a full moon last night."  
  
"Yeah, I noticed."  
  
"Well, Remus needed to be outside bec.just cause." James prevented himself from going any further into detail quickly.  
  
"Because, what? And why didn't I see you guys crawling on the ground before I tripped?" Lily pushed. Why do I have to be so cold? She asked herself silently.  
  
"Because. And, well, I have a.." Should I tell her? James wondered. If I do then I'll have confided something to my enemy and she'll have potential blackmail.If I don't it will be totally awkward.  
  
"Well, it doesn't look like you're willing to tell me, so let's get on with our work. Perform a shrinking charm on this book for me, please," said Lily, and after demonstrating with her Defense Against the Dark Arts book and then counter-charming it she looked at James expectantly.  
  
James took out his wand, pointed it at the book and said, "SHRINKENERO!" Nothing happened and James' forehead wrinkled from his puzzlement.  
  
"No, no, no," Lily reprimanded and took her wand out. "You're holding it all wrong and you have to be stern. Like this, SHRINKENERO!" The book shuddered and shrunk to half its size. James glanced jealously at Lily. "Okay, now you try. ENLARGO!" the book returned to its' original size and Lily handed James his wand.  
  
"SHRINKENERO!" the book shuddered and appeared to be almost shrinking but not quite. It stopped and James glared at it. "SHRINKENERO!" After about twenty tries James finally succeeded.  
  
"We spent two days on that and then moved onto." Lily went on, having James try an assortment of newly learned spells, and after two hours she decided that that was enough. She smiled happily on her way out, glad to be finally out of his company.  
  
James wasn't so happy however, he felt like an idiot because he had wanted to explain for the encounter last night but all he had gotten out was that Remus needed to be outside on full moons. Great, just great, James told himself as he left the library. But he didn't know what else to say and still not break his best friends' trust.  
  
A/N: This is the longest any of my stories has been! Four pages! Woohoo! And thanks to everybody who has reviewed. Lavon has been my most faithful reader. Thanks Lavon! I hope you guys all love what my next two chapters will bring! I have a rather eventful something to bring the two together. 


	8. Animagi

Chapter 8: Animagi  
  
"Attention!" Dumbledore roared from the front of the cafeteria. He stood up and stroked his long white beard. "Curfew has been moved to six o' clock," he paused and listened to the moans that echoed throughout the hall. ".because of a need for increased security." Whispers immediately started, creating a buzzing sound. Dumbledore cleared his throat and the students immediately quieted. "You'll be glad to hear that the Halloween Ball will be held next month and everyone will be expected to dress up." This caused a stir of excitement. Dumbledore chuckled at the way the students had reacted, first angry, then curious, and then excited. What next? He wondered.  
  
"I bet it's You-Know-Who they're scared of," James whispered excitedly to his friends. Peter glanced up with a scared expression on his face, his fork with pork on it poised halfway to his mouth.  
  
"You don't think that he'll..he'll come here?" Peter stammered. "I mean.he fears Dumbledore. R-r-right?" Everybody else laughed at Peter's fear.  
  
"We're quite safe," James reassured him, although inside he didn't feel as safe. Why would they be changing the curfew if they were safe?  
  
Down the table the girls were so worried about that. Instead they were giggling over who their partner would be for the up and coming Halloween Ball.  
  
"I'm thinking about asking Sirius," Sonya giggled, glancing in the boys' direction. Lily was tempted to laugh because at that moment Sirius made his nostrils flare and stuck two straws up either one. This made Sonya giggle even more.  
  
"Well, then, ask him," Lily said, making it seem so simple. Who should she ask? Would anybody ask her? Every other girl had an idea of who she wanted to go with, but she didn't. Lily had no idea whatsoever. Breakfast ended and the students filed out one by one. She noticed Sirius and Sonya holding hands on the way out. 'Great' Lily thought to herself. 'Even SONYA was able to get somebody.'  
  
"Umm..Lily?" She turned around and saw a stuttering Remus. 'He's not THAT bad,' Lily thought. 'Rather tall, but I can deal with it. Better than being too short.'  
  
"Yes, Remus?" she asked pleasantly.  
  
"Well, I was thinking." he stuttered. "Well.the Halloween dance..I mean, you and me." Lily smiled happily. Someone was asking her!  
  
"Of course I'll go with you, Remus!" she said happily. The look of tension fell off his face and an ear-to-ear grin spread across his face. She gave Remus one last sly smile and raced ahead to Lisa.  
  
"Lisa!" Lily exclaimed. Lisa jumped in surprise and turned towards Lily.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Remus asked me to the Halloween ball!" she said happily and danced around Lisa in a not-so-great imitation of a ballerina. Lisa smiled brightly and congratulated her friend.  
  
"We can double date now! How fantastic. John [the Ravenclaw she'd been seeing for about a month now] and Remus are friends, I've seen them talking before. Oh how great!" Lisa joined Lily's dance and they twirled the rest of the way to the Gryffindor tower.  
  
A few people behind them James wasn't so happy. "How could you, Remus? She's the one girl I utterly despise. And.and. and you ask her?! How could you?" James stomped away from his friends. Remus made a motion to try and go after his friend, but decided against it.  
  
"I think he's jealous," Sirius laughed, obviously not worried about how angry James was.  
  
"What?" Remus asked, surprised. "Why would he be? I mean.well." he couldn't think of anything else to say. Sirius smirked and they continued walking to the tower.  
  
"It's so dark," shivered Peter as he wrapped himself tighter with his bed comforter. Sirius glared in his direction.  
  
"Don't be so stupid," he said angrily. "It's night, why wouldn't it be dark? And YOU," he shouted turning towards James. "Stop sulking in the corner. Sure Remus asked Lily to the Halloween Ball, who gives a bloody rip. Let's get going." James, still sulking, stood up and placed himself on the far corner of the couch. Sirius glared at him but didn't say anything more. Sirius took out a rolled up sheet of parchment and flipped it open.  
  
"It's blank," Peter said, stating the obvious.  
  
"Yes, it is," Sirius said. He muttered a few words under his breath that nobody could hear and suddenly lines started drawing themselves all over, making loopholes, dots, and any other line imaginable.  
  
"What's that?" James' curiosity got the best of him.  
  
"It's the Marauders' Map," Sirius replied proudly.  
  
"Marauders?" Remus asked.  
  
"Yes, that's us. I thought, you know, ever since we became Animagi and all." Everybody hurriedly shushed Sirius. "Sorry," Sirius said quietly.  
  
"How does it work?"  
  
"Well, you say the words and it comes up and then you say the words again and it goes."  
  
"What are the words?"  
  
"I'll tell you later, you bloody detective. What if somebody's listening?" The other three looked angrily in Sirius' direction, obviously thinking about how stupid that last comment was since he had just said that they were Animagi aloud for any listeners to hear.  
  
"Okay then, the Marauder's meeting is finished, good night to you all." The four bustled upstairs, Peter dragging behind because of the extra weight his comforter added.  
  
A/N: I know it's short, but I want to get on with the story because I can't wait to get to what's coming up! Yippee! R/R! 


	9. Tears

Chapter 8: Tears  
  
"Hey guys," Remus whispered. "It's a full moon tonight." They looked at him and nodded, barely glancing up from their cinnamon oatmeal. Remus noticed sadly that James didn't even glance up. When is he going to get over that fact that I asked Lily to the dance? Remus wondered, sad that his friendship with James was at jeopardy because of a girl. Remus glanced up and noticed that the owls had started coming in. He looked up hopefully; maybe today he would get something. The owls had all landed and there was nothing for Remus. He wasn't too surprised, but a little disappointed.  
  
"Wait, Lily!" Remus heard Lisa cry. He glanced up and saw Lily running out of the Great Hall, her fiery red hair spreading out behind her, holding an envelope.  
  
"Lisa!" Remus cried, grabbing a hold of Lisa's arm. "What's the matter with Lily?"  
  
"I don't know," Lisa replied, not glancing in his direction. "She got a letter, opened it, and ran out. I have NO clue what it's about." Remus nodded and let go of Lisa's arm. If she hadn't been wearing a long-sleeve cloak you would have been able to see the finger-marks from where Remus had grabbed her.  
  
"Should I go after her?" Remus asked after a slight pause, he had no clue what to do. Lisa looked at him with a skeptical look and slowly shook her head.  
  
"No, she'll come to us when she needs us," Lisa said sadly, wishing there was some other way to help her friend in distress.  
  
"Attention!" Dumbledore said from the front of the room. "Please!" the room quickly quieted down and Dumbledore continued. "Please follow the new curfew from now on, more closely. Also, please don't go out of doors without an adult with you, this is very important to EVERYONE'S safety. There have been more attacks and we're afraid that Voldemort," everyone in the room flinched when he said that name. ".and we want to take all precautions to keep our students safe." Another pause and then, "You're dismissed!" There was a loud commotion of benched being pushed out and feet plodding out of the hall.  
  
"Where's Lily?" Sonya whispered to Lisa in transfiguration.  
  
"I don't know, she hasn't been in any of her class today," Lisa replied.  
  
"Girls!" Professor Stefani said from the front of the classroom. "Would you mind addressing your conversation to this class instead of whispering?" Lisa glanced at Sonya nervously, and then stood up.  
  
"Yes, Professor," Lisa said, ignoring the constant kicks coming from Sonya's direction. "We were asking each other if either of us have seen Lily since breakfast." Whispers broke out throughout the classroom.  
  
Professor Stefani cleared her throat. "Well, Lisa," she said after a pause. "If you must, I'll let you go for this class to find Lisa. We don't want her wandering outside, you know." Lisa nodded and picked up her stuff.  
  
"Thank you, Professor," she said as she headed towards the door.  
  
"Can I go too, Professor?" Sonya asked, to which Professor Stefani just shook her head in response.  
  
Up in the Gryffindor common room Lily was huddled in a corner, hiding underneath a dark blanket. She was hoping nobody would notice her shaking figure. The note she had received at breakfast was crinkled from her fist clutching it in a death-grip. Uncrinkling it she read through it again:  
  
Dear Miss Lilian Jean Evans, We are sorry to tell you that your parents have been killed by another attack from You-Know-Who Friday, September the 20th. They were brave in their last efforts and stood up to the Dark Lord in an effort to over-throw them. Their funeral will be held the first of October. We are sorry for this unfortunate turn of events. Sincerely, The Minister of Magic.  
  
This must have been Lily's millionth time reading it and for her millionth time crinkling it back up in anger and pain and fury. She let out one loud sob and quickly stifled it, hoping nobody had heard her; she did not want to share her sorrows with anyone at the moment. Somebody had her though, unfortunately.  
  
"Hello?" a boy's voice called. Ugh, it was James. The LAST person she wanted to talk to at a time like this. She didn't respond, hoping he would go away. She was disappointed again; he didn't stop walking in her general direction. "Who's there? What's the matter?" he asked in a soft voice. "I'll talk to you about it." Lily heard his footsteps stop and everything was silent for a few minutes; she was hoping that he had given up and gone away.  
  
Who was crying? James thought. And why are they crying? He wanted so much to help them, but they didn't seem to want his help and the common room was too dark to see anybody in. He stepped closer to where he had heard the loud sob when he stepped on something crinkly, like paper. 'What's this?' he thought as he picked it up. 'A crinkled letter.hmm.' he opened it and gasped when he saw who it was addressed to and what was in it. Minutes passed and he didn't know what to do. Finally he said something, "Lily.I'm sorry.I know how you feel." He heard a gasp and moved closer. "Lily, please, can we talk?" James couldn't believe what he was doing, talking to the one person he probably hated the most (besides Snape and Malfoy) about something he hadn't even told his best friends.  
  
"James?" she asked, peeking out from underneath the dark blanket she had covered herself with.  
  
He smiled and handed the wrinkled letter he had found to her, which she immediately crinkled up and threw to the other side of the room.  
  
"Accio letter!" James said and the paper ball flew back in his direction. Once again, he handed it to Lily. "I'm sure you don't want anybody else to find it like I did." Lily took it, nodding; she sniffed loudly and wiped her nose with her hand.  
  
"What do you want?" she asked in a shaky voice.  
  
"Well." what did he want? To help her? But why? He'd never liked her before and why help her now? "I know I'm probably the only one who knows about..well.this, and I think you should talk about it."  
  
"With you?" Lily spat out and seconds later burst into uncontrolled sobs.  
  
"Yes, with me," James said softly. He didn't say anything else, just listened to her sobs and wondered how else he could help.  
  
"Well." Lily started. In between sobs she continued, "They were at home with my sister and." she stopped and her crying increased.  
  
"Shhhh," James shushed, not sure what else to say. He was sure that she didn't want anybody else to find her there, but did she really care right now? She brushed a portion of her red hear behind her ears and hid her face in her blanket. "Come on," James urged.  
  
"They were with my sister and.and.you-know-who came and." she stopped again and another heart-wrenching sob escaped her throat. James gasped and looked in Lily's direction.  
  
"Lily." he started but, again, he had no clue what to say.  
  
"Please, go away," she whispered. James nodded and stood up to go. "Wait," he heard her whisper and turned back around. "You won't tell anyone, will you?" He nodded silently and examined her face which she had lifted up to ask him not to tell anyone. It was tear-streaked and the areas around her eyes were red and blotchy.  
  
"I hope you'll feel better soon," he said and left the common room. She buried her face in her blanket and started crying, her sobs muffled.  
  
A/n: There it is! The ninth chapter! Woohoo! Sorry it took so long, I had writers block the first half but once I got into the whole scene between her and James it was easy. Oh, and can anyone guess what he meant when he said: I know how you feel.? Woohoo! Foreshadow, or preshadow, umm, not sure which. duh duh duh duuuuh!  
  
A/N: Somebody pointed out to me that it was a great hall, not a cafeteria. Sorry about that! I couldn't think of what it was and so said cafeteria. There are too many to 'edit' so I'm going to keep it that way. Hope you don't mind! 


End file.
